Praying for Families

Praying for Families

            Included in the lists of those I pray for every day, are at least thirty families.  However, I do not pray for every member of every family each day.  Sometimes, I pray for one member of the family each day in a rotation, so if a family has three members each person is prayed for every fourth day.  However, if a family has nine members, it will be a longer time between when each individual is remembered in my prayers.  Nevertheless, each family member will be prayed for by name at regular intervals. 

            A variety of situations have brought these families to my attention evoking a sense of my need to pray for them.  Some families have needs that revolve around illnesses of various kinds, both physical and emotional.  When one member of the family suffers, the pain affects all others.  Illnesses, accidents or age and infirmity can lead to death and here again a family needs the support of prayer as they take that particular journey of grief.  Other complex family situations that are addressed by my prayers include marital discord and other relationship challenges.  My prayers are for the healing of broken relationships and the necessary wisdom and discernment to address courageously complicated and longstanding issues.

            Let me give you some specific examples of families with prayer concerns who have requested my intercession.  One request came to my husband, Glen when he ran into some friends when he was in Europe on business.  Their adult daughter was suffering from severe clinical depression that debilitated her so much; she was unable to care for her own family.  Her desperate parents asked Glen to pray for her and for the whole family and to ask me to pray for them as well. 

            Another example of a need is that of my friend whose is the mother of a young man who has developed a gambling addiction.  She asked my prayers for him and for his wife as the addiction has placed their marriage in jeopardy and the innocent victims will be their young children.  The whole family is caught in the midst of a maelstrom that threatens to overwhelm them.  Prayer seems to be their only hope right now. 

            An elderly woman who decided a few years ago that she wanted to become a church member labours under the weight of guilt and a sense of failure.  Having raised her children as a single parent, she fears that it is her fault that she is unable to build a meaningful relationship with her adult daughter.  She is heart-broken about this and asked my prayers that somehow they might learn to love one another.  

               One family that has been a part of my prayers for many years includes a daughter who in her rebellious teen years alienated herself from her family by choosing to have an illegitimate child.  Eventually this young woman returned to the faith, married and had her own family.  When her children were in their teens, she again wandered and pursued an affair that destroyed her own family as well as another one.  It was tragic.  The devastation of the choices she made is extensive and I include all members of all the families involved in my prayers.  My focus is on the healing of relationships, forgiveness, reconciliation and the dawning realization of the unconditional love of God for each person concerned.  Only God can bring these about, and so to Him we make our requests.

            Other parents ask me to pray for the children who have made bad choices and now must live with the consequences of those choices.  Parents are aware of the danger that their children may make the wrong choices.  Their request is that I pray for the protection of their children.  These parents are aware of the choices bombarding their children and fear they have not adequately prepared them to choose wisely.  We know only too well that we are all susceptible to influences from others and vulnerable to temptations.  Prayer can help us hold steady.

            The Bible talks of the power of a father’s love and a mother’s compassion.  Images of family help us to understand the nature of God. 

           One of my greatest joys is to see the gratitude of family members as they see God answering prayers in the lives of their loved ones.  In my book More Questions than Answers, Sharing Faith by Listening, I tell the story of a young man who came to faith and prayed for his father for ten years.  The father then embraced the faith and today the father rejoices in the little grandson who he prays will one day also come to faith.

            God created families and He works to strengthen them as we pray.   

            

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Intercession for Our Children

My prayer lists include over 120 names of people I recorded because parents expressed concerns to me for their children.  I am always amazed how often in conversation with other parents, we find ourselves talking about our children.  Our concern may be for their physical well being particularly when their children face health issues that cannot easily be resolved.  I know this challenge well because of my personal experiences.  Other times the worry is about the emotional health of a child.  Sometimes this is a huge frustration for parents as we are unable to remove the cause of illnesses like depression and we feel a sense of guilt that somehow we bear responsibility for the anxious state of our child.  Many times our burden as parents is for the spiritual health of our children.  

We realize that when God entrusted the children to our care, we needed to do everything in our power to enable our child to maximize every opportunity and enjoy a full and satisfying life.  The first few years we devoted ourselves to seeing that they developed into healthy, happy human beings.  Then they began to discover their own unique identities.  In adolescence, we fear that in discarding the identities we to some degree shaped and helped them create in order to find their uniqueness, they will also abandon the roots that can hold them firm in the challenges life brings their way. 

These fears can be acute among Christian parents.  We desperately want our children to understand and embrace the faith that has given meaning to our lives. We do not want our children to shrug off with the vestiges of their childhood the sometimes tenuous faith they have begun to develop and thereby miss discovering those realities of eternal value.  Along with our fears is the awareness of our engagement in a cosmic struggle. 

I have often observed the point where the Enemy chooses to attack us is in the area of discouragement.  The domain where this can flourish is in our relationships with our children.  We invest heavily in their well-being and if He can capitalize on our fears for their future, He can immobilize us. 

Especially as our children begin to emerge into adulthood or any time when they are facing physical or emotional challenges we feel so helpless.  The only way I know to find our equilibrium when we face overwhelming fear for our children is to place them once again in the hands of the One who entrusted them to us.  That is much easier to talk about than to put into practice. 

Many parents tell me how they have surrendered their children into the care of the Lord in prayer, in the same way I have.  No sooner do we open our eyes, than once again we are gripped by fear and concern for our children.  It seems we have to keep on surrendering them and through that exercise, we gradually build our faith and confidence that He will work out His purposes in their lives.

In my intercession, I have literally taken a page from the book of someone who has written about how to pray for our children.  I use as my own a sample prayer adapting it to my situation.  I choose to do so because I realize that in praying for my children in this way I am able to enter into spiritual warfare on their behalf. I am not one who spends a lot of time delving into the occult, but I do have the discernment to recognize the attacks of the Enemy in trying to immobilize me by discouragement over the spiritual condition of my children.  My greatest weapon in retaliation to this attack is to arm for spiritual warfare.  Thus I pray in this way, speaking aloud in an affirmative tone.  

The first part of the prayer is an establishment of the authority by which I am able to address the forces of evil.  I state that I am doing this in the name and under the authority if Jesus.  I know that He is the one who has authority over the spiritual realm and all spirits must bow to His authority.  I bind these spirits under His authority and refute their influence over those for whom I am praying, identifying the objects of my prayer by name.

I then name the specific spirits that I am binding.  The list includes spirits of witchcraft, occult activity, satanic interest, mind control, fantasy, lust, perversion, rebellion, rejection, suicide, anger, hatred, resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness, pride, deception, unbelief, fear, sensuality, greed, additions and compulsive behaviour.  Then I add others that I feel to be appropriate to the situation. 

Having bound these sprits, I then declare that under the authority of Jesus, I break their power and affirm it is null and void in the lives of the people whom I name.  I revoke the blinders that the Enemy has placed on them.  I avow that those whom I name will see the light of the gospel of Christ.  They will be taught by the Lord and their peace will be great.  These declarations agree with the Scriptures in Isaiah 54: 13. 

From the evil spirits, I then turn to God our Heavenly Father.  First of all I express my thanksgiving to Him for the gift of those for whom I am praying, again using their names.  Then I ask for His protection of them.  I request for them the support of Christian friends who can have a godly influence on their lives.  I pray for discernment to know when they need my prayers and my help.  I also pray for wisdom to be the person they need me to be in our relationship.

I conclude my prayer asking that our Heavenly Father will fulfill His plan and purposes in the lives of those for whom I am praying, and that His Spirit will be upon them.  My final action is to release these gifts He has given me (those for whom I am praying) and place them in His hands.  I acknowledge that He loves them even more than I do and that according to Jeremiah 29: 11 His plans for them are for welfare and peace, not for evil and that He will give them a hope and a future.  Then I try to leave them there. 

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100huntley.com - Learning To Listen - Eleanor Shepherd

Here is an interview that I did for Huntley Prime about my book More Questions than Answers, Sharing Faith by Listening. I just found it online. I hope you enjoy it.

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Intercession for the Sick

            Whenever a group gathers to pray together, inevitably some prayer requests will be for those who are ill.  I guess that should not surprise us with them great emphasis in our society on having a healthy lifestyle. 

            Although we have wonderful medical care available in the western world, there is a limit to what the best-trained practitioners or most sophisticated medical equipment can provide until a clear diagnosis of the problem unfolds.  Awaiting an accurate diagnosis is often one of the most stressful aspects of being ill.  Our imaginations seem to run wild and we fear the worst until we are able to discover what is not working as it ought in our bodies.  The only one who really knows all about our bodies is the Maker of them and thus it does seem logical to approach him about our worries while we wait for those who have been taught the necessary medical skills to figure it out.   Thus, we bring the problem to him in prayer. 

            When we receive the diagnosis, we then need to discover the most appropriate treatment for the illness.  Even here, many possible alternatives play a role.  What is currently available is key.  Also, what treatments or medications our bodies can tolerate determine what will be done given the imbalance that can arise in the whole body chemistry following the introduction of new elements to our systems.  Again, divine wisdom applied to the situation will be of great benefit to the health care professionals, so it is logical to make this also a matter of prayer.

            Perhaps behind these problems associated with being ill is also the base fear.  Sometimes disease can lead to death and we may be forced to confront our mortality.  This forces us to consider our views about eternity.  For this reason we bring our fears to the one who has the final word on life and death. When our fears drive us to prayer, we can face reality.

            My list of intensive care prayer requests includes those for whom I pray because of illness.  One is a young mother who herself has been ill and who recently lost her husband to illness. As well as praying for her healing, I need to pray for her in her grief and for the challenge she faces trying to raise her two sons on her own, uncertain of her own future.    

Another person in this group is not ill herself, but a couple of months ago a chronic disease claimed the life of her son in his forties after many years of suffering.  She is currently facing the possibility of having to place her husband in a care facility because of his dementia.  While I pray for her husband, I also pray for grace and strength for her to be able to deal with the challenges that have come her way. 

A third friend has been battling many different forms of cancer for several years and this enemy that she has had to contend with took her only sister just last year.  She wonders how long she will be able to prevail in the fight and is so grateful for the prayers of support for her in her battle with this dreaded disease. 

            When we take seriously the opportunity to intercede for those who are ill, we engage in a complex series of issues that can be highly charged emotionally.  Where we know what specifically to pray for we can do so, but sometimes all we can do is place the suffering person in the hands of a God who loves them more than they can imagine and that is enough. 

Your thoughts? 

Mutual Intercession

          We met at the Write-to-Publish Conference at Wheaton College, just outside Chicago.  I think it was my second time attending this writers’ conference so I had overcome some of my fear at going alone to such an event.  After hastily dropping my luggage in my assigned dorm room, I hurried over to the auditorium for the initial session, arriving just as the program was beginning.  I was just nicely settled into a plush chair, three seats from the aisle near the back of the auditorium, when I spotted the newcomer.  Her brow furrowed in bewilderment made me suspect this was her first time at the conference.  Remembering how intimidated I felt a year earlier, I beckoned to her to join me, pointing to the empty seat on my right.  As she took her place, I leaned over and whispered, “Welcome.” 

            I had no idea this was the beginning of a mutual intercession destined to support each of us as we faced stormy waters in our personal lives over the next fifteen years.  Her trials included a broken marriage and the challenges of raising her three children on her own.  Among mine were the broken body and bruised spirit of my son, paralyzed by a freak car accident. 

            After that first session of the conference, we grabbed coffees and sat down on the steps of the auditorium, enjoying the warmth of the June evening as we shared a little about our backgrounds and writing experiences.  As it turned out, we did not choose any of the same electives to attend during the conference.  However, we kept running into each other in the general sessions, or at meals or walking across the campus.   It seemed we just kept showing up in the same places. 

            Just after the Awards banquet, near the end of the conference, my new friend approached me and said, “I am an intercessor.” 

            “Great!”  I replied.  “I am an intercessor too.”  She continued,  “I feel God is calling me to intercede for you. “ How strange and yet how encouraging, I thought to myself.  We discovered that we were both part of the same international intercessors group. We exchanged e-mail addresses, so that I could share my prayer concerns with her, and I decided to add her to my prayer list as well, and left promising to pray for her and her family. 

            Our correspondence back and forth over the years is scarce.  About the only time, we contact each other, except at Christmas when we share with one another our prayer concerns.  I feel like her children are precious to me, even thought I have not seen them since they came to pick her up with their father at the end of that first conference.  Yet, I have prayed daily for them through the years. I feel I have had the opportunity to invest in their lives in this way.  My friend and I both published articles in the magazine put out by our intercessors group.  The bonds that unite us exert a strong vertical pull. 

            How grateful I am she took the risk to tell me about the nudge she felt, when the Spirit called her to support me in prayer.  We are truly soul sisters.  

Intercession for the Boss

               When we are working for a boss that we really enjoy working with, it is a joy to be able to include their name in our lists for intercession.  However, when the relationship is not one where we feel a sense of camaraderie and pleasure in working for the same ends, it is more difficult. 

                This relationship is not like a friendship where there can be give and take and if we drift apart, the consequences need not be that serious.  Rather, this relationship can shape our everyday lives. 

                If we have a boss with whom, although we may not have a  personal friendship, we are nevertheless able to enjoy a relationship of mutual respect and perhaps even encouragement, to pray for them does not require a great deal of effort on our part.

                However, it is not always that way.  We may work with a boss, for whom we feel respect or even admiration at times, but at other times, we are confused and not at all sure, what their modus operandi is.  Then it may not be quite so easy to pray for them. Faithfulness if prayer for them requires that we remember them on both the good days and the bad.

                At the far end of the spectrum is the boss, who causes us to pray for ourselves every day, so we can respond in a respectful manner to their interactions with us.  To pray for such a boss may be harder, as we would rather curse them than bless them.  We may need to precede our prayers for them with prayers for our own attitudes, so that we do not respond by lashing out at them for the way that we feel they are treating us. 

                As with all challenging  relationships, praying for a supervisor with whom we have a difficult relationships, demands that we ask for a spirit of discernment to try to understand ways that we may be creating tensions in the relationship.  When we are convinced that our own attitude is not the catalyst, we then can pray for the needs of our superior, aware that they may be struggling with issues that are completely outside our awareness. 

                Each morning, as I pray for those to whom I am accountable in my various responsibilities, I am grateful to say that at this time, I am able to offer gratitude for the respectful manner in which I am usually treated.  It has not always been that way and it may not always be so, but for the moment, I can be grateful that this is my situation.  

Intercession for Denominational Leaders

          The lists that I use in my daily intercession include the names of the global leaders of my denomination.  For many years, these were often just names to me and I did not personally know the people who occupied these positions.  However, in the later years of our ministry in the denomination, these people were also those we had served with during the course of our ministry or they were personal friends, whom we had opportunities to spend time with socially as we met with other leaders from various parts of the world in conferences. 

            I believe it is important to pray for those who are in denominational leadership.  They often have difficult decisions to make that can determine the destiny of people whose lives are impacted by those decisions.  What a huge responsibility that is.  Also, there is no guarantee that they will make the right decisions, even though the intention of their hearts may be pure and they are seeking divine wisdom for the choices they make.  They are still human and can make mistakes.  That is why they need our support rather than our criticism.  Praying for them helps us to keep a balanced perspective.  We do not expect them to be infallible, but we know that even if they err, God is still sovereign and can bring good out of the resulting situation.  It may even turn out to be more beneficial for the individuals concerned than if another decision had been made. 

            Another reason that we need to pray for our spiritual leaders is that they become the targets of spiritual warfare.   They clearly fulfill a mandate geared toward the building of God’s kingdom.  We do not talk a lot about spiritual warfare these days.  I will post a blog about it a little later, because it is also part of my daily intercession. At this time, I am bringing it up as another reason to remember in prayer those who occupy positions of authority in our ecclesiastical structures. 

            Personally, I choose to pray daily for the top three or four people who are responsible globally for our denomination.   I remember each one by name and pray for them in a daily rotation.  In addition, I pray for the national leadership of our denomination, and well as for regional and local leaders.  Having served in denominational leadership myself, I know how grateful I felt for the prayer support we received, so I am glad to do my part to encourage those who bear the burden of leadership today.